Of P James, magic and other mysteries......

Denizens of Chennai...
Are familiar with his name!!!
P James is a magician...
And a prolific advertiser..
On the city's walls!!!

His name and telephone numbers...
Jostle for space...
And cheekily...
Try to edge out...
Ads eliciting support for Amma...
Or the Rising Son..
Or sundry others!!!

He has been the inspiration!!!!
For a Madras-related book!!!!!
Looking for P.James...
Has just been released...

It takes off...
From the man...
Behind the magic!!!
Behind the mystery ads!!!!
His story..
Has now been told!!

But fret not!!!!!
The city is still full of tricks!!!
And offers.....
Mysteries aplenty......
Just waiting to be unraveled!!!!

One such mystery...
For which an answer..
There may not be is....
Why does Chennai Corporation...
Always wait until September...
And the first clouds of the Northeast monsoon
To swing into sight......
Before it begins to patch up its roads...
Lay its underground cables???
Drainage lines???
Pipes...
Or whatever???

On my way to Sweatshop...
I find that...
Taylor's Road...
Halls Road in Egmore...
And Montieth Road...
Now...
Suddenly!!!...
Sport deep gashes......
Right in their middle!!!

For most of my life...
I have used only two routes...
To get to the heart of the city...
And now rivers run through them!!!

Rivers of slush that is....
Which is what these roads become...
At the slightest hint of rain....
Causing traffic pile-ups...
Encouraging irate auto drivers..
To bump and bounce over them all the way...

It makes that spot under my skull..
Just above my spine..
Ache so!!!
Cruel!!!

But hey!!!
Who cares???

Not the Corporation...
Surely!!!
They have heard it all before...
And there is no pleasing everyone..
Is there???

And then....
There is that other great mystery...
Also advertising related!!!!
Now at my very door-step!!!

We woke up last morning..
To find two...
No parking in front of this gate signs...
Firmly welded...
One of each side...
Of our front gate....

The welding done...
Overnight...
Without even waking us up!!!!
In mafia-like silence!!!!

Thoughtful???
No...
Not really!!!

For...
Also included...
In these signboards...
Are advertisements.....
One for Kumbhat Holograms...
And the other for Apollo Packers and Movers!!!!!
Some sort of strange quid pro quo at work here...
Methinks!!!!

Without so much as a ..
Can I??
Or a....
May I????
From these guys!!!

Maybe I should be thankful that the ads are not for...
Dr Asana Andiappan Yoga..
Showing a middle-aged man..
In red underwear...
Smirking!!!
His left leg coiled around his neck!!!
Grotesque!!!!
THAT hangs on my neighbor's gate!!!!

But who are these freeloaders anyway???!!!
Do I want to endorse them at all???
And endorse them free of charge at that????
They did not care to stop and ask!!!

So..
I ask you!!!
Where did politeness go????
Did it disappear altogether....
At that point..
When Madras became Chennai???!!!

Maybe we should delve into such matters....
As part of Madras Day celebrations...
Next year!!!

But wait!!
Maybe this is raw material...
For a book!!!!
Of the Looking for P James variety!!!!
And maybe it will yield a good story...

Should Madrasgirl set off....
On a quest????!!!!
In search of the truth????
Tear down that veil...
Of silence...
Or
Omerta if you will!!!
Behind all such strange goings-on in the city??!!

What think you???