Sunday, September 27, 2009

Up goes the meter!!!!

In India...
We have two indices...
To judge inflation....
The consumer price index...
And
The wholesale price index....

Usually they move in tandem...
But recently..
They have been gyrating in opposite directions....
Causing a lot of confusion!!!!

How can inflation be low???
When we are paying Rs 100 for a kg of tuvar dal???
Are these numbers false????
Or have the indices turned thick-skinned all of a sudden???!!!!

Perhaps it is time to discard...
Both indices..
For that most sensitive index of inflation in the country!!!
The Chennai Auto rickshaw Drivers Meter Index....
Or CADMI for short!!!

It is the first to go up!!!
Even before the first whiff...
Of a hike in diesel prices...
Fills the air!!!
And it never comes down!!!
No matter what!!!

A true indicator...
Of the times we live in now!!!!

Come to think of it...
If Chennai were a Goddess...
Her vahana would be...
No prizes for guessing...
Yes!!!!
It would be....
The ubiquitous auto rickshaw!!!!

These Lords of the Road...
Certainly hold...
Chennai vaasis to ransom!!!
And as for tales about them....
Their numbers are legion!!!!

Coming back to our index....
CADMI is sensitive..
And not to inflation alone!!!
It is a multi-faceted index...
So it registers every move that impacts the common man's life!!!!
And..
Like the Dow, the Nasdaq , the FTSE, the Bombay Sensex or any other major stock market index...
It reacts swiftly to economic and political events!!!!

For example...
CADMI reacts strongly to news of disaster....
A bundh called for by the ruling party???
Procession by a political party coming down Anna Salai????
Heavy rains in the evening???
You can be sure you will be charged three times..
The usual fare....
Or more!!!!..
Just to get home!!!

But unlike other markets..
Where the bulls and the bears...
Take their turn...
CADMI is dominated by the bulls alone!!!

They roar and romp...
And sometimes close down operations!!!!
Especially...
When attempts...
Albeit feeble...
Are made by the powers-that-be to reign them in...

Charge by the meter???
Preposterous!!!
Not to mention....
Unthinkable!!!!

Often...
Like many major stock markets....
CADMI is buffeted by speculative forces!!!
Of the Let's see if we can pull this off variety!!!!

So..
Regulars will sometimes turn to you and say:
Pay ten rupees more Amma...
Madrasgirl (MG): Why???
Auto Driver (AD): No...I thought you can give extra!!!
MG: But I won't!!!
AD: OK..OK...
But.....
I do not have change today ...
You can adjust the ten rupees change that I now owe you another time!!!

End of argument!!!!
And I didn't really win that round now..
Did I???

Given that the winds of recession are still blowing the world over...
Madrasgirl is surprised...
That some intrepid trader...
Maybe the same one who devised...
Those sub prime mortgages!!!!...
Has not started trading in CADMI futures!!!

Especially because...
There are no downsides to this market...
CADMI can...
And does..
Move only one way:
UP!!!!!
How much further up..
Is all that has to be deciphered!!!
By investors!!

A lot of money...
Just waiting to be made there!!!
So...
Let the trading begin!!!!!

Let's pitch in...
Shall we????

2 comments:

Mad Hatter said...

That was vintage MadrasGirl - witty, incisive, insightful and fun!! My pick for best entry from MadrasGirl this year!

Ravichandran said...

Brilliant!

Talking of autos, during Deepavali season, I was able to drive peacefully near T Nagar, as the traffic police banned these death machines in that area. Every day I hoped and prayed that ban was permanent as in Mumbai.Next day after Deepavali they were back in action.

Apart from using CADMI for measuring inflation, the drivers' vocabulary, if taken into account by literary authorities, will go a long way in enriching the language. If the driver asks for more and if the request is turned down, he is not going to shrug and chug away, on the other hand one stands the risk of being described as 'savugraki' (wonder whether there is an equivalent word in English).

Autos contribution to society is endless, for example, they provide work to orthos, tinker; and Chennai policemen depend on them at the end of the month for financial rescue.

But CADMI, if accepted by RBI, will top it all.