Winding down...

Just when I've got the hang of using the can opener..
Started enjoying the silence of suburban America..
Become familiar with the unfamiliar..
And slipped into a comfortable routine...
It's time to leave!!!
Unbelievable!!!
Drat!!!

And I must say this too!!

Leaving a loved one...
Leaving Winner..
Is much more of a wrench...
Than leaving home...
Or leaving Madras....
It is also...
Much more heart breaking...

Homeward bound..yes I am..homeward bound...
Wish I could have stayed some more!!!

A rare thing......

I have always liked the cheery friendliness of the Americans...

Immigration officers...
Once they've seen your confirmed return tickets..
Beam at you...
Wish you a good trip!!!

Customs officials....
Join in....

Strangers greet you with...
Hi...
Have a nice day!!!

Smiles are exchanged all the time...

And as a friend from these parts once explained:
A smile and a How are ya? means that the stranger is not going to harm you...

So..
It is a signal of sorts in this culture!

I almost thought I was back in the Land of Smiles...
Until I ran into the Indians here...
They do not smile at all!!
At least not the ones in Michigan!
Yeah..they smile at other Americans...
But not at strangers who are Indian too!!!

At the Indian temple...
One heard bits of Tamil, Kannada, Telugu...
Fill the air...
But no one ...not even the usually gregarious Malayalees...looked at us..
Leave alone smiled....

They looked past us...
And through us....
As if to say:
Why have you come here? To add to the competition??
Very territorial!!!

Or maybe they were being snooty as in:
We are OLD settlers...
As if that is akin to OLD money or something!!
Or do they think Indians mean trouble???

At the local pharmacy...
The sales woman says:
We have a pharmacist..
His name is Vee-lash Meh-tta...
And she drags us to him...

She seems a trifle disappointed that Vee-lash does not look us in the eye..
Or bond with us in any way...
Despite being Indian!!
He merely mutters to her:
You will find that in the second row....
No smile at all!!!

I almost gave up on getting a smile out of an Indian..
Until...
Another woman....a newcomer???.... like me???...
Saw me waiting for Winner at Walmart...

She met my eye..
And then...
She beamed at me!!!
Made me feel good that!!!
Wish more Indians would smile at other Indians...
Would make us seem a less surly tribe!!

Cheerio then!!!

So not like Madras!

In Madras..
Or Chennai if you will...
Spouse when badgered to ask for directions while driving...
Would miss the auto drivers and the other local know-it-alls
To hone in on the wrong guys!!!!

Typical responses we get:
I don't know saar..
I am new to the area..
Turn left, then right, then left...no no..right and then left again and then ask someone there!!!
Interesting!!!

Here...
Winner and I are looking for the Indian temple...
In a scene that looks like it came out of the sets of Fargo!!
Snow..snow...and then..some more snow!!

Me: Can't we ask someone??? Some friendly person??? They LOOK so friendly!!!
Winner: What??? Are you kidding me???

At best...
We can whip out the GPS or whatever and get those directions!!!
From a gadget!!!
Not from a flesh and blood human being!!!
No sir!!!

That's not all....
Driving across the bridge on the Des Plaines river...
I wish we could stop and take a photograph...
No can do!!!
Not like at home...
Where we never did have to miss such photo ops!!
For such reasons!!!

So different from Madras that is now Chennai!!!
Such a change...
From home...

Adios then!!!

Leaving Madras....

Leaving is always a wrench...
Leaving home..
And leaving Madras..
More so!

I have been anchored here for too long...
Family...
Friends...
The comfort of routine...
And the security it brings..
Creature comforts...
Even my spotlessly clean loo....
Hold me down..
Keep me rooted here...

In my college day....
As TamilNadu Express rolled in...
Slowing down near Basin Bridge or its environs...
I would head for a window seat and look out with affection...
At the red and yellow State Transport buses that plied the streets..
Gosh! didn't think I'd miss those!!!

Or gaze at Tamizh women...
Waiting patiently at the bus stops...
To catch the bus to office..
Clutching their shining ever-silver tiffin boxes to their bosoms!!!...
The sight of them brought a lump to my throat!!!!
That was back then...

Now...
I grapple with what the Internet calls travel anxiety!!!
And do battle with endless to-do lists...
Tidy up the home..
Put everything in its place..
Pay every conceivable bill..
Water..drainage...electricity..Corporation taxes..
All in place now!!!
Run out on endless sorties of shopping!!
Phew!!!!!

Calm down now! calm down now!!
I tell myself..
But as the day draws near...
And relatives come by to bid adieu...
My nerves are a knotted mess..

Could it be that
I do hate traveling??..
No..not in theory!!
I hate leaving home???...
That I do!!!...
But also...I guess..
The change that all this brings...
Takes my blood pressure up a few notches!!!

And then there's Time...
Or the lack of it..
The realization that I no longer have any control over my own time!!!
As others take charge....
Airlines, airports and their schedules are set to dominate my life..
In the near term at least!!!

And then...
I am one of the placid ones of the earth!!!
Happy to keep chewing the cud in my own stall..
In this corner of the world!!!
That I know is home!!!

So...
It is with mixed feelings that...
I get set to go away from Madras..
Which geography books in my school days called..
The Detroit of India..
To the real thing!!!...

Adios!!...
Or rather..
Au revoir!!!!
Until next time then!!!

Happy New Year.....

Chennai goes into overdrive..
On New Year's eve..
By four in the evening...
The driving gets distinctly rash....
And much later..
The partying and the real drinking begins!!!!

Madras never made such a fuss!!!

Growing up with my grandparents...
New Year was just another day!!!
So too New Year's eve!!!
If Madras partied...
It did so without us!!!!

Our New Year is on April 14th..
Grandmother would keep reminding us!!

And..
Now we have been deprived of even that!!!
It has been shifted to mid-January!!!
Amazing what politicians can do!!!

While they are at it...
Why not shift all festivals from Deepavali to Easter to Ramadan to Ayutha Puja and Krishna Jayanthi et al to just one month...January??
Then Tamilnadu..
Like Europe which shuts down in mid-December...
Can shut down too....
And resurface from hibernation after a month!!
Sleep away the marghazi...
And all other forms of madness!!
Catch a concert or two...
Just chill!!!
Enjoy the nip in the air!!!

Just think...
If this happens...
Other progressive states may follow suit...
And then India itself may shut down...
In January..
A whole month off for the entire country!!!

Maybe our politicians will see the sense in this!!
And buy this idea from Madrasgirl!!!!

One can always hope..

Adios then!!!
And...
Happy New Year to you...
And your loved ones!!!

Let them eat cake!!!

Lately...
I have taken to picking up grains of lentils when they roll off the kitchen counter...
I scrape the last remnants of curd and gravy from the pot..
Ask Cook to reheat leftover rice...
Or make it into a pongal..or a lemon rice...
Don't throw it away....don't waste it...
I constantly tell her...

It is as if I am girding up to take on..
A food shortage....

My father's generation may remember...
The days of rationing...
After the War...

But...
To my own generation...
Words like drought...
Food shortage...
Belong in history books...
We have been spoilt by years of plenty...

So perhaps I carry some racial memory within me...
I prepare by being careful.......
As I wait for the crunch..
That this feeling in my bones tells me..
Is surely coming!!!

Perhaps..
The rather blasé attitude..
Espoused by the Government and its minions...
When they talk about food price inflation!!!
Has added to this feeling in my bones....
It is truly scary!!!...

In a recent interview the FM...
When asked about the food price inflation numbers said:
We knew it would hit this figure ...
Jubilant that the numbers are right!!!
And not a squeak about what was done...
To deal with this situation!!!

Yet... what are the solutions???

We can import...
Various functionaries mumble every now and then...
Hoarding is taking place...says one...
The expectation of a drought is making this happen...says another...
People have excessive disposable income...
This is making prices go through the roof??
And so on and so forth...

So I ask:
Why aren't the hoarders being caught and punished and deterred?
Why have those imported food grains not reached our shores yet?
Why can't the prices of essential food items be controlled?

In the Land of Smiles...
Pork and chicken prices are controlled!!!
Put some food in their bellies is what that government clearly thinks!!!

But here...
The feeling is...
If they cannot have bread..
Then let them eat cake....
a la Marie Antoinette!!!...

As I write...news comes in..
The food price inflation has dropped from 20 something percent..
To 18 something percent...
Yippee!!!
But it is difficult to perceive this on the ground....

Heck!..even our growth rate of 6 odd percent is not perceptible...

Going back to the early 90s..
When Sawadee Land was Asian Tiger Country....
A growth rate of 8 percent...
Translated into a tangible vibrance in the economy...
It created wealth...
Threw up jobs aplenty...
Created opportunities for its people and others...

Not so in Bharath
Something wrong with those figures???.......
Cooked again???
Could it be???

Then again...what will the poor do??
If things get worse??
How are they coping now???
When lentils of any variety cost Rs 108 a kilo!!!
And onions rule at Rs 36!!!
Does anyone know??
Or care??
Apparently not....

On that dismal note...
I bid thee adieu!!!

Handling Happiness......

I expect happiness to be a continuous state of mind....
And being!!

Perhaps because of the story books I read as a child..
They all ended with the line..
And they lived happily ever after....

Yet, in practice...
How long does happiness last?
A few weeks??
A day?
A few hours???
The wink of an eye???...

And like a willow-the-wisp..
Happiness wanders away!!!
It will not be held...
Sometimes, not even savored...

Often..
I recognize happiness only in retrospect....
As something that happened in the past!!!!...

Yet, like all of us..
I want to believe in the myth that it is long lasting...
That at some time in the distant future...
I will have it always!!!
Forever!!!!
Without a pause!!!!

We are all striving..in one way or the other..
To live happily happily ever after....

But truth is...
I live more intensely...
In times of trouble....
I notice my thoughts...my actions...
I plot..and sometimes plan..
And pray a lot!!!

And yes...
Though I may despise such times...
Wait for an end to come.....
To troubles...
Real or imagined or created!!!
And I certainly do not want more of it!!!!
I must admit...
I do feel more alive!!!
I do live more in the moment!!!

When happiness strikes...
I often do not experience it....
Fully...completely...
Maybe I need help..
On how to handle it??

Yet what is this state of being?
Could it be the warm glow that suffuses my being???

Winner tells me that when I am happy...
I smile to myself...
A lot!!!!....

For me..
Singing is the touchstone...
If I can burst into song...
Or hum some tune heard eons ago..
Then I must be happy!!!!!

Happiness is not a continuum....
It punctuates my life...

There are happy moments every day...
But often..
I do not notice......
I live life in a blur!!!
I wish I could learn to live in the moment!!!!
In happy times as well....

And when major happiness strikes...
I am almost wary of it.....
As it marks the end of one phase...
And the beginning of another....
I wait for the next trying challenge to take off!!!
I do not trust happiness!!!
It just will not last!!!

While..
Happiness is part of the stuff of life...
It is....
Only one of many ingredients....
That go to make life's rich broth!!!!

Life happens in so many other ways.....
And it has so much other stuff to offer!!!...

So many other moods and thoughts and experiences...
Await us...
To enrich us....
To draw the best out of us!!!

Happiness is just an incentive...
Like that big bonus that sometimes comes along!!!!
Often when we least expect it!!!
It helps us along....
As we move on.......

At least that's what I think!!
Adios!