Lessons from Sun direct........

This week...
A few random pearls of wisdom.......
Gleaned from Tamil soaps...
Broadcast on Sun TV..
On just one long and lonely evening!!!

Based on what I saw....
I drew the following broad conclusions:
In each hamlet aka district in Tamizhnadu...
A thalaivar.....
Of pristine moral dimensions...
Pronounces judgment on all matters...
Usually of a domestic and intensely personal kind...

This said thalaivar...
Of pristine moral character....
Often has two wives....
And the two wives live in harmony...albeit in different houses...
But are on the best of terms..
And call each other...
Akka and thangachi...

Of course..
No one tosses said thalaivar in the slammer for bigamy!!!
Least of all the police...
And it is not because the DSP is his nephew!!
Just that thalaivars are allowed more lee way in such matters..
Being more red in the blood than thou and thine!!!

Lesson No: 2....
You can be the first woman Sub-collector of a district..
But you cannot disobey the edict of the naattamai!!!
Even if this does seem like some strange kind of katta panchayat!!!
Or parallel governance!!


Lesson No:3...
You may be a stormy petrel of revolutionary thought...
But if the holy thread given to you by your husband falls off...
Then evil forces will ensure that you die in childbirth!!!
Unless someone finds it just in time...
And they usually do!


Lesson No: 4...
You should not demand a dowry...
But if the girl's family gives their word...
That they will gift 50 sovereigns of gold to their daughter...
Then you can insist that they keep their word...
Or the bridegroom will not tie the knot!!!!

And the police cannot arrest you..
Because you are not insisting on a dowry..
Just that the loons on the other side...
Keep their promise!!!

I learnt so much ...
In an evening..
With merely half an eye on the tube!!!!

Such genius!!!
I would like to meet these script writers and shake their hand!!!
I must also put in a word for the orchestra...
Which does the continuous wailing routine!!!!
In makes us aware that life can be tough!!!...

That this kind of stuff...
Is piped into a zillion homes...
And no one has lost their mind yet!!!
That is the miracle that TV has wrought!!!!

Cheerio!!!

Can religion be a 'fun' experience???

Looks like it can be just that!!!

I plucked the video below..
From the page of a young relative...
On Facebook!!!



The singers and those sung to...
Are having the time of their lives...as you would see if you viewed it!
Singing Krishna Govinda....

The lead singer has a magnetism...
That is sensual....
Very Krishna-like in a way!!!!

Perhaps...
This is how Krishna danced with his gopikas!!!!
Perhaps That Avatar is meant to show us...
That one can and should have fun!!!!
If we do not hurt others in the bargain!!!

What irks me is...
That is takes a Western crowd...
To show us.....
That religion has several aspects...
And
They have discovered the more 'fun' aspect!!!!

If we chose a more somber mode...
It is a choice we make...
And in our version of things...
Only obese elderly women...
With chakrams tattooed on their upper arm!!!!!
Are allowed to go off into a trance...
And dance!!!!

As some wise guy said...
We make Our Gods in our own image....
So..
Had we been 'fun' people...
We would have quickly discovered the 'fun' part!!!...

End of story!!!..
Adios!!!

Some offices do have 'em!!!

The Asian Games had a mascot....
A dancing elephant called Appu....

Most international sporting events have one...
Except maybe the Commonwealth Games...

If it had one...
It sure did not catch my attention!!!!.....

Corporates too...
Devise mascots...
To hold the attention of their consumers...
To help build their brands....

Like Air-India's maharaja ...
The Amul girl...
And Gattu...
The little boy in the Asian Paints ad....

And now...
The mascot idea has been taken a step further down the road!!!
There is a real live one at Sweatshop !!!!
Yes!!! Really!!!

And Madragirl..
Ever an ardent observer of corporate developments...
Feels this intriguing new phenomenon has to be reported to her readership!!!

So here goes.....

Our Chennai office mascot for the moment is a 20-something...
Content developer....
Whom all the matriarchs and matrons dote on!!!

And just about everything she does is soooo sweeeeeet!!!!
From the way she sits in her chair with one leg tucked under her...
To her voice....
She so perfectly captures the spirit of what a Sweatshop employee should be!!!

Our earlier mascot...
Was a barbie doll wannabe!
She fluttered her eyes...
And cooed rather than spoke...
She KNEW they all thought her cute....

But alas!
She got married...
And was promptly dethroned....
She is now...merely amusing...
And at times.. a little irritating!!!

How are mascots made???
At Sweatshop..
All it probably took was an indulgent smile cast in her direction...
From the top honcho lady at Central Office...
The others at various levels in the pecking order noticed it...
And hey presto! a mascot was born!!!!

Madrasgirl wonders about this phenomenon...
Does this happen only in all-women enterprises???
What about those that are composed of only the male of the species???

They have their blue-eyed boys (BeBs)...for sure...
Who are resented rather than adored!!!

If anyone should drool..
Or dare to throw a sooo sweeeeet in that direction...
Their sexual orientation will be severely questioned!!!!
And that is often a deterrent to the birth of a mascot..in such places!!!

In an earlier generation...
BeBs...for the most part...were those who had been identified...
By the Big Boss...
As having displayed the potential to rise to the top!!!

Those employees whose eyes were classified by the same boss-man as being not-so-blue....
Usually dismissed the BeBs as sycophants...
Or as some sort of corporate pariahs...
And went their way..undisturbed!

Not so at Sweatshop-like places!!!
Here..the mascot occupies pride of place...
Her work is hardly questioned...
Her birthday is celebrated with greater gusto...
And an invite from her ...when it comes...
Cannot be turned down!!!

Madrasgirl wonders whether this rise of the real live company mascot is a throw back...
To some kind of tribal behavior???
Like some strange rite of passage???
Or initiation into the tribe???

Does the corporate culture in all-women offices..
Demand that the more acceptable of the newly-employed...
Serve a short stint as company mascot....
Before coming part of the gang??

Madrasgirl calls for feedback..
From her frequent readers.....

All such information will be collected and collated...
To arrive at more interesting and edifying conclusions....
To amuse one and all...
In future episodes!!!

Ciao then!!!

Madrasgirl meets minor celebrity....

Last week...
Madrasgirl and Spouse ran into a minor celebrity...
At the Mundakananniamman temple...
In Mylapore...

She had come with her incredibly young-looking efficient mother...
To place her wedding invitations..
At the feet of the Goddess...

Spouse was sure that she is a TV newsreader...
Madrasgirl was positive she comperes a TV talk show..
Anyway...
We knew her face....

Suddenly..
The young mother with the newborn baby in her arms...
Moved quickly across to the other side of the aisle...
To stand next to the celebrity....
They exchanged smiles....
The young mother looked happy...

To be acknowledged by a celebrity...
In public...
Is no small matter!!!
And our celebrity understood this...
She was gracious!!!

Later..
As we waited after the abhishekam
For the Goddess to be adorned...
Madrasgirl....
Who usually handles celebrities by behaving as if they do not exist.....
Was tempted to see how the girl handled herself...

She came out with flying colors....
Comfortable with the attention she drew...
Not at all irritated...
Or fed up....

She continued to chat animatedly with her mother...
As a small group of priests and temple workers...
Sat on the steps...
Talking loudly and trying to catch her eye...
She was going to be the stuff of all their conversations with relatives and friends that day!!!
For sure...

Later...
The pooja over..
She left...
Smiling at the priests...
Asking them to come for her wedding....
She made everyone happy...

Handled correctly...
A little celebrity can be a good thing after all....

Cheers!!!!

Stupid!! Really??!!!

It was a forward..
About Stupid Americans...
Sent by a Smug Indian..
Who has never left Bharath's shores!!!!....
To other Indians....
Who she is sure..
Are just like her....

In other words...
They KNOW they are superior!!!!

It recounted that..
In an undergrad science class...
In some unnamed US university....
There was disbelief when...
The professor talked about the Moon's gravity...

Apparently...
Only two in the class...
Realized that the Moon was not running on the Earth's gravity

One of them was an Indian..who was rightly horrified!!!
And the other...an American..equally horrified!!!!!

It set the Indian off on a research quest...
To delve into whether all Americans thought the Moon did not exert any gravitational pull!!!

Of course...
Had OUR Indian been a true Indian...
He would have delved first..
Into the antecedents of his like-minded American classmate!!!
And found that...
A la Sunita Williams...
He too had an Indian forefather..
Right up his genealogical tree...
Maybe..
Someone...
From somewhere in the Punjab!!!
Maybe four generations ago....

Anyway..
That apart!!
Our friend's research established...
That it was a common belief..
Among Americans that the Moon has been getting by on the Earth's gravity!!!
And therefore it was that the astronauts floated...
While moon-walking there!!!

Horror of horrors!!!!
Now such ignorance cannot be found in India..could it??
Here...
Young minds are filled with positive and correct scientific information!!!
WE are not DUMB!!!

Maybe not...
But sometimes..I wonder!!

Fast forward to Chennai...
Circa 2010!!
Clean public facilities...paid or otherwise...
Are still a distant dream!!!
Only the extremely stout-hearted can visit these...
And live to tell the tale!!!
So the great open spaces it is..
For most men..
All of whom seem to have so much less bladder control than their female counterparts!!!

Yet..
As one who has followed the voiding habits of the Chennai male..
With great disgust!!!
It still surprises me...
That 9.5 times out of 10...
The Chennai male on the move..
On the city's roads..
Will make a beeline to pee behind the electricity boxes on the road...
Or right under the transmission towers!!!!

Now...
Anyone with basic scientific knowledge...
Who has been to school...
Or has had exposure to it...
Knows..
That electricity is a wild thing...
That fluids in proximity with a live wire...
Can have fatal consequences...
And...
Would shy away from such locales!!!!
Just in case...
And yet!!!

I wonder what an American..
Researching this topic will find??!!!

That the Chennai male is a tough dude..
Who likes to play with electricity???
That his Macho-quotient is the highest in the world???

Or could it be???
Horror of horrors!!!
That he does not EVEN know that electricity can be dangerous???
The researcher cannot conclude that the Chennai male is DUMB...could he???
Could he???

Because DUMB we CANNOT be..
Even the Chennai male..
The Americans cannot feel superior to us because of this endearing habit...
Can they????
Now CAN THEY???????

But then...
One never knows!!
Superiority can stem from so many reasons...
Some feel superior because of their caste..
Or their class...
Some feel superior because of their skin color!!!
Some like Spouse feel superior...
Because they are vegetarian!!!
Or.....
They have an aquiline nose..
And a stentorian voice!!!

And I???

I feel superior because I know!!
And I KNOW that I know!!!
Now how great is THAT???!!!!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Adios then!

The song in my head....

Maybe..
I am no Shakira...
Shakin' her bootie..
And singin' Waka waka.... This time for Africa...
The FIFA song that keeps playing...
Over and over these days...
As the games go on...

But I too have a theme song...
One that goes on and on...
Repeatedly in my head!!!!

It's a take on a song:
Hang Down your head Tom Dooley...
Which was popular when I was in school..

It went:
This time tomorrow..
Reckon where I'll be......

I hear these lines...
Play in my head...
At critical moments in my life!!

The visual image accompanying it...
Is always one of sweet relief!!!!
And freedom from worry...
Release....
Or the hope of it!!!

To this day...
I hear it play...
The evening before any stress-filled event...
Is slated to take place....

Like an examination...
An interview....
A hearing in court...

I even heard it..in my mind.....
The evening before I met Spouse!!!

So many events....
So much waiting!!!!!

Sometimes one just wants to leap across Time..
And get to the other side....
To know the Outcome....
To see...
What the future holds!!!!

If music were to accompany all our entrances and exits...
As in the reel world...
This would be my theme song!!!!

Perhaps we all of us have a theme song...
Think about that!!!
And tell me yours!!!

Cheerio!!!

The 55'er

The Autumn of my Life is at hand....

Wish I could just...
Go out there...

And catch the Fall colours!!!

Please don't pass it on to me!!!

Some things I enjoy...
If they are passed on to me....

Like Good wishes....
A Blessing from Loved ones....
Compliments....
Happy secrets...
Positive stuff!!..

But increasingly...
I find...
I'm left holding...
A different kettle of fish altogether....

I seem to be at the receiving end of.......
Complaints....
Worries....
Problems...
Made to listen to the woes of others!!!
A lot of negative stuff!!!

Granted that...
I too am guilty sometimes..
Of doing all the above to those I love!!!!

But usually...
I do not let it all hang out...
Or at least...
I save the personal rants and disclosures for close family and even closer friends!!!....

So..
It does not seem fair that
Wholesale cribbing is so much a part of the stuff...
Of the conversations...
That seem to be coming my way now!!!

Things would be so different..
If we took a leaf out of Jainism...

When a Jain nun ...
Is inducted into the fold...
She is told...among other things...
Not to react to attacks.. or beg...cry..or feel superior...demand...or be disturbed by illusory things.....
And most important of all...
She is told NOT TO COMPLAIN!!!!...

If only WE would do the same!!!

A few weeks ago...
It was the turn of
The Matriarch of Sweatshop..
To do the dumping...

Now in her early sixties....
She amazed one and all...
By choosing our monthly meeting...
To tell us..
By reading aloud...
Two morbid poems...
That all was not well with her world!!!!

Deaths of sundry authors...
Left her feeling that...
Nothing mattered any more..

All that had happened up until then..
And the rest of her life that stared her in the face!!!
Seemed meaningless!!!

And we were privy to this information...
And knew not what to do with it!!!
Apart from feeling low......
Ourselves!!!

In quite an unconnected development..

A few weeks ago...
Surrogate Mother bought a new car!!!!....
Now well into her eighties....
She was excited at the prospect....

After a lifetime...
Of being an ardent fan of the Fiat brand...
And only white ones at that!!!
She suddenly switched loyalties.....
And decided to get herself a silver-gray Maruti A Star....

She was excited!!!!
And
Dragged herself to the photographer for the mandatory passport size pix...
Bright and chirpy and happy...
At the thought of this new toy!!!

She may be in the evening of her life...
But she is no whiner!!!!
She loves life...
Ups and downs and all!!!

Surrogate Mother makes me feel that...
That there are...
Happy moments out there in abundance!!!!
And..
We can find reason aplenty to be happy..
Even when we hit ninety!!!!!...

Problem is...
We are conditioned to think that life should happen..
In a straight line...
That the graph should only keep moving upwards...
Or else...

We also associate happiness...
With that fireworks feeling!!
That it should be an intense...long..experience..

But often..
It could just be a quiet peace...
A moment of calm and restfulness!!!
Or the delight that a new beginning can bring...
A very subtle thing.....

Surrogate Mother shows me that...
Life is worth looking forward to...
One should not despair!!!

Happy patches appear....
Not only in one's youth...
But in middle age...
Or even when one is old
And the world expects you to vegetate....

The realization so comforted me!!
That I felt I had to tell you all about it!!!

It also signals......
I think...
That it is time...
I checked myself out of Dullsville!!
Where I have been a permanent resident...
These many weeks since I came back!!!

Adios then!!!
And Good Cheer to one and all!!!

Winding down...

Just when I've got the hang of using the can opener..
Started enjoying the silence of suburban America..
Become familiar with the unfamiliar..
And slipped into a comfortable routine...
It's time to leave!!!
Unbelievable!!!
Drat!!!

And I must say this too!!

Leaving a loved one...
Leaving Winner..
Is much more of a wrench...
Than leaving home...
Or leaving Madras....
It is also...
Much more heart breaking...

Homeward bound..yes I am..homeward bound...
Wish I could have stayed some more!!!

A rare thing......

I have always liked the cheery friendliness of the Americans...

Immigration officers...
Once they've seen your confirmed return tickets..
Beam at you...
Wish you a good trip!!!

Customs officials....
Join in....

Strangers greet you with...
Hi...
Have a nice day!!!

Smiles are exchanged all the time...

And as a friend from these parts once explained:
A smile and a How are ya? means that the stranger is not going to harm you...

So..
It is a signal of sorts in this culture!

I almost thought I was back in the Land of Smiles...
Until I ran into the Indians here...
They do not smile at all!!
At least not the ones in Michigan!
Yeah..they smile at other Americans...
But not at strangers who are Indian too!!!

At the Indian temple...
One heard bits of Tamil, Kannada, Telugu...
Fill the air...
But no one ...not even the usually gregarious Malayalees...looked at us..
Leave alone smiled....

They looked past us...
And through us....
As if to say:
Why have you come here? To add to the competition??
Very territorial!!!

Or maybe they were being snooty as in:
We are OLD settlers...
As if that is akin to OLD money or something!!
Or do they think Indians mean trouble???

At the local pharmacy...
The sales woman says:
We have a pharmacist..
His name is Vee-lash Meh-tta...
And she drags us to him...

She seems a trifle disappointed that Vee-lash does not look us in the eye..
Or bond with us in any way...
Despite being Indian!!
He merely mutters to her:
You will find that in the second row....
No smile at all!!!

I almost gave up on getting a smile out of an Indian..
Until...
Another woman....a newcomer???.... like me???...
Saw me waiting for Winner at Walmart...

She met my eye..
And then...
She beamed at me!!!
Made me feel good that!!!
Wish more Indians would smile at other Indians...
Would make us seem a less surly tribe!!

Cheerio then!!!

So not like Madras!

In Madras..
Or Chennai if you will...
Spouse when badgered to ask for directions while driving...
Would miss the auto drivers and the other local know-it-alls
To hone in on the wrong guys!!!!

Typical responses we get:
I don't know saar..
I am new to the area..
Turn left, then right, then left...no no..right and then left again and then ask someone there!!!
Interesting!!!

Here...
Winner and I are looking for the Indian temple...
In a scene that looks like it came out of the sets of Fargo!!
Snow..snow...and then..some more snow!!

Me: Can't we ask someone??? Some friendly person??? They LOOK so friendly!!!
Winner: What??? Are you kidding me???

At best...
We can whip out the GPS or whatever and get those directions!!!
From a gadget!!!
Not from a flesh and blood human being!!!
No sir!!!

That's not all....
Driving across the bridge on the Des Plaines river...
I wish we could stop and take a photograph...
No can do!!!
Not like at home...
Where we never did have to miss such photo ops!!
For such reasons!!!

So different from Madras that is now Chennai!!!
Such a change...
From home...

Adios then!!!

Leaving Madras....

Leaving is always a wrench...
Leaving home..
And leaving Madras..
More so!

I have been anchored here for too long...
Family...
Friends...
The comfort of routine...
And the security it brings..
Creature comforts...
Even my spotlessly clean loo....
Hold me down..
Keep me rooted here...

In my college day....
As TamilNadu Express rolled in...
Slowing down near Basin Bridge or its environs...
I would head for a window seat and look out with affection...
At the red and yellow State Transport buses that plied the streets..
Gosh! didn't think I'd miss those!!!

Or gaze at Tamizh women...
Waiting patiently at the bus stops...
To catch the bus to office..
Clutching their shining ever-silver tiffin boxes to their bosoms!!!...
The sight of them brought a lump to my throat!!!!
That was back then...

Now...
I grapple with what the Internet calls travel anxiety!!!
And do battle with endless to-do lists...
Tidy up the home..
Put everything in its place..
Pay every conceivable bill..
Water..drainage...electricity..Corporation taxes..
All in place now!!!
Run out on endless sorties of shopping!!
Phew!!!!!

Calm down now! calm down now!!
I tell myself..
But as the day draws near...
And relatives come by to bid adieu...
My nerves are a knotted mess..

Could it be that
I do hate traveling??..
No..not in theory!!
I hate leaving home???...
That I do!!!...
But also...I guess..
The change that all this brings...
Takes my blood pressure up a few notches!!!

And then there's Time...
Or the lack of it..
The realization that I no longer have any control over my own time!!!
As others take charge....
Airlines, airports and their schedules are set to dominate my life..
In the near term at least!!!

And then...
I am one of the placid ones of the earth!!!
Happy to keep chewing the cud in my own stall..
In this corner of the world!!!
That I know is home!!!

So...
It is with mixed feelings that...
I get set to go away from Madras..
Which geography books in my school days called..
The Detroit of India..
To the real thing!!!...

Adios!!...
Or rather..
Au revoir!!!!
Until next time then!!!