The New Age Woman...

A wedding over the weekend...
Made me realize that it is time I shelved old images...old stereotypes..
Especially of women!

The bride was all of 26...
In the throes of completing her PhD...
From a premier US University...

In that gathering of Chettiars..
She fitted in very well...
Smiling.....friendly...
She could have been my daughter...
Which to me would be the height of 'normal', 'ordinary' or what you will!!!

Yet she had shared the same home with the groom ...
For the last three years or so...
In distant America!!!

I am not commenting on the rightness or wrongness of the action..
It is their own business..as I would be reminded by those round me...
And thankfully so!!!

In my youth...
Those who opted for such 'live-in' relationships...
Adhered to a certain image...
Usually they were very Westernized...
Or very 'bold'....
The girl next door....
Very rarely ventured forth to break societal codes of premarital behavior....
For fear of being jilted etc...if nothing else...
Not so any more...

In this case...
Blessing came from Thiruvannamalai to the beating of drums...
So too from the Shirdhi Sai Baba Temple in Mylapore...
And the couple became man and wife...
Thankfully..it had ended well for these two!!!

The Untouchables...

I had this pain in my right arm...
It kept me from sleeping at night...
And after a week of tossing and turning...
Home therapies....resteclin, crocin, imol, even hetrazan...a warm shawl wrapped around me...
I walked into The Critical Care Center in my neighborhood!!!

The duty doctor was a pleasant person...
He asked the nurse to take my BP, pulse, temperature...
Looked over my previous reports...
Peered into my throat...

He asked me what was wrong....
I told him...
My hand..it seems to be swollen here...
He did not try to feel it...
I feel as if the lymph nodes are swollen...
He made no move to see if this was true....
Just took my word for it!!!

Then he consulted with his boss over the telephone...
And told me he thought it was just muscular pain!!!!

I was amazed
The tactile sense is no longer a part of the diagnostic process!!!!
Machines record vital signs...and parameters..
Based on these tests..
Treatment decisions are made....

Sure..
No one wants to be touching every patient passing by...
But they could use gloves for God's sake!!!
Have patients become the new untouchables??

Talk about the healing touch!!
A thing of the past for sure!!!

Ciao!!!

Belated....but heartfelt...

In the early 70's..
The school fee at the Madras "convent"..
Where I studied was Rs 20 per month!!
Yet..
I somehow managed to save half this amount...
And hand it over to a classmate...
Who then got me a 'real' photograph of the now late Nawab of Pataudi....

Before you scoff..
Do remember that this was back in the days before television...
Even black and white Doordarshan came to Madras only after 1975!

Most young ones like me...
Had no access to a plethora of magazines....
The Madras Mail..that now defunct newspaper...
Was all that was available...
And news over the radio!!
No Internet...no...nothing!!!

The photograph was a treasure..
And years later...
I saw that some one...Birth mother??...
Had stuck it in an album...
And then it disappeared!!!

Some icons should be allowed to live forever..
Pataudi's demise jolted me...
A little click..
And a small door from the distant past was shut!!!
The end of a "teen" dream...

Now..
Madrasgirl can never become the Second Begum of Pataudi.. for sure..
Sigh!!!!

A near perfect match!!!!!

Before Spouse and I were married...
An astrologer pronounced our horoscopes a near perfect fit!!!
We had an 80% match!!!

I wondered then..
What this 20% mismatch could consist of!!
I only had to wait..
Until we sat together at table!!!
Which is where it usually begins!!!

Perhaps it's because...
My heritage in terms of food is soooo different from his...

As a child...
Every meal at Grandmother's table...
Was an assertion...
That we were at the very top of the food chain!!!!

Meals...meals??..
Nay!... those were really feasts!!!
Slow cooked over wood fires...
We were served...at least two of the following at every meal....
Kari kuzhambu made of mutton and potatoes, kari urundais (minced meat balls for the Tamil challenged), sura puttu, nandu kulambu, brain fry, liver fry, mutton chops, fried fish of many sorts, including my favourite mathi, prawn fry, muttai attu, biriyani...
Even the veggies like avarakkai had a fistful of tiny shrimp added to tempt us along!!!
The very best of Mudaliar cooking was ours to eat!!!
At every meal...

On Sundays...
Breakfast began with dosas...
Washed down with a korma of minced meat..
And a fried egg or two...
By 10 AM....
My siblings and I ...
Felt like happy anacondas that had just nibbled on a herd of succulent goat!!!
As they waited for more to appear!!!!!
At lunch and thereafter...

Those animals that escaped being served up at Grandmother's table..
Like venison, pork, wild boar, rabbits, partridge and other such fowl...
Were caught and quickly cooked up...
To be served up at my Father's table!!!!

Here..
The style of cooking varied depending on Father's geographic location in terms of posting..
Or the region to which their friends at that point belonged!!

So..
We had Hyderabadi biriyani, kormas, paaya....,
And then drove down to the little stalls on Tank Bund ...
For boti kababs and sheekh kababs...
Goan friends served us fiery pork vindaloo !!
In Hyderabad!!

Mutton rogan josh, chicken makkhani, palak gosh, moghlai chicken, gurde kapure...
Delighted our taste buds in Delhi...
And while in Kashmir...
We feasted on gushtaba, rishta and yakhni biriyani...
In Trivandrum..
The charms of meen moilee, karimeen, monster prawns bought off the Chinese fishing nets in Cochin and covered in batter and deep fried, stews, cutlets et al...
Held us in thrall!!!

My recipe books contained....
ONLY non-vegetarian dishes...
And who can blame me for thinking that good food = non-vegetarian food ONLY!!!!
It was in this condition that I entered my marital home....
Only to find that I had been married off...alas!!..
To a sheep in wolf's clothing!!!!

In my new home...
There was shock..
When I tried to serve eggs for breakfast (minus the bacon and ham and sausages that I would have loved to add!!)....
The reaction was: Non-veg??? At breakfast?? Cheee chee!!!
Then I was told that it was allowed only on certain days...
We settled on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays....
Only to find that minor monthly festivals...
Like sashti, kirthigai, pradotcham, amavasai et al...
Invariably occurred on these days!!!!
Very unfair!!!!

I fought on valiantly!!!
Winner by my side...
I managed to sup on New England clam chowder in Boston...
Devoured Thai hawker food in Bangkok...
Tried reindeer meat in Finnish Lapland and Chicken a la Kiev in Helsinki...

We hit our all-time low in Singapore...
When Winner and I wanted to try their famous fish head curry...
And Singapore chilli crab...
And found ourselves instead...
Eating ela sappadu in one of those eateries off Serangoon Road!!

Then I turned vegetarian....
To the delight of Spouse and his clan!!!

Have the food wars ended???
Not a chance..

I invariably head for paneer butter masala, rajma, cholae, Gobi Manchurian, baked dishes...
He wants authentic South Indian ...preferably brahmin saapadu!!

OK...Enough said..
I am off to make...uppuma...
I like mine tempered with patta, with tomatoes added..
He likes his tempered with large quantities of urad and channa dal...runny...with no tomatoes!!!
Hmmm...what to do???

Ciao!!!!

Of Mendel's peas and the Amazon in my family tree...

On Wednesday..
Google reminded us of Mendel's 189th birthday..
With its logo made of peas!

I do not remember the peas..
But I do remember the theory!!
Perhaps because as a student..
I used my family as an aide-memoir!

Grandfather who towered over us at 6 ft 2 inches...
Was married to Grandmother...
A diminutive 5 feet nothing
Of their children...
Father is tall...
Aunts 1, 2 and 3 were/are short!
Just like Mendel said!!!!

As a child...
I was constantly told...
That I looked the picture of Surrogate Mother!!
When strangers pointed to the resemblance and assumed that I was her daughter...
She would not correct them..
Instead...she beamed with happiness!!!

Come adolescence...
Things changed...
Instead of staying short and delicate and small-boned...
With long flowing hair... like her...
My limbs grew and went into overdrive...
The resemblance became more faint with the passing years...
Darn!!!

For this I have to thank the Amazon in my family tree...
My petite grandmother's tall and big-made Mother!
An Amazon of a woman!!!!
I inherited her genetic traits!!
Alas!!!

My loss

When I was in school..
Two ladies always came together...
To talk to my teachers or pick me up.

My classmates said..
You have two mothers..
Surrogate Mother and Birth mother ...
I have always thought so too...

On Friday night..
Surrogate Mother passed away...
When I was at the other end of the world..

The World Cup and its unsung heroes!!!!

The World Cup is ours!!!
The Victory lap has been run..
Dhoni and his boys have been glorified!!
The team has been rewarded in cash and in kind!!!
But sadly some who played a major role in the Victory remain unsung!!!

The truth may stun you..
But it has to be told....
Spouse ...
And some others of similar mettle!!!!
Played a major role!!!
And really deserve a part of the glory!!!

Without them..
Like Sita...
The World Cup may have been snatched and taken away across the seas to Lanka!!!!

Here's what happened...
It is Spouse's firm belief that if he watches India play...
We will lose!!!!!
And to his credit...
He acted on this belief!!!

When India played Pakistan...
Spouse...an ardent cricket fan...
Forced himself to go to bed early!!!
Sure enough...
India won!!!!
That proved it!!!
He had hit upon the sure-shot mantra for victory!!!

So
When the Finals came on...
He watched Srilanka bat...
And then...
Crept unwillingly to bed...
Stirred only by the sound of a distant cracker...
He rushed to the TV...
To watch Dhoni hit us to victory!!!!

Just across..
In my parental home...
Birth mother was forced by Father et al...
To remain confined to the bedroom....
Apparently...
The longer she stayed inside..
The more runs India made!!!

So you see..
The World Cup was not won by the Indian cricket team alone...
So many...like Spouse...
Heroic in their own way...
Indulged in some similar act of idiocy....
Sometimes bordering on lunacy!!!
Only to ensure India's victory!!!!

Across the length and breadth of the country...
Cricket fans valiantly refrained..
From moving from uncomfortable positions on the couch...
From indulging in a loo break...and...
Promised to perform abishekams..archanais... and tonsure their heads!!!
All to ensure an Indian victory!!!

Madrasgirl salutes these unsung heroes!!!
Born to blush unseen...

Truly...
The World Cup was won ONLY by such acts of solemn sacrifice!!!
This was a TEAM INDIAN effort!!!

Jai Hind!!!!!!