The Untouchables...

I had this pain in my right arm...
It kept me from sleeping at night...
And after a week of tossing and turning...
Home therapies....resteclin, crocin, imol, even hetrazan...a warm shawl wrapped around me...
I walked into The Critical Care Center in my neighborhood!!!

The duty doctor was a pleasant person...
He asked the nurse to take my BP, pulse, temperature...
Looked over my previous reports...
Peered into my throat...

He asked me what was wrong....
I told him...
My hand..it seems to be swollen here...
He did not try to feel it...
I feel as if the lymph nodes are swollen...
He made no move to see if this was true....
Just took my word for it!!!

Then he consulted with his boss over the telephone...
And told me he thought it was just muscular pain!!!!

I was amazed
The tactile sense is no longer a part of the diagnostic process!!!!
Machines record vital signs...and parameters..
Based on these tests..
Treatment decisions are made....

Sure..
No one wants to be touching every patient passing by...
But they could use gloves for God's sake!!!
Have patients become the new untouchables??

Talk about the healing touch!!
A thing of the past for sure!!!

Ciao!!!

Belated....but heartfelt...

In the early 70's..
The school fee at the Madras "convent"..
Where I studied was Rs 20 per month!!
Yet..
I somehow managed to save half this amount...
And hand it over to a classmate...
Who then got me a 'real' photograph of the now late Nawab of Pataudi....

Before you scoff..
Do remember that this was back in the days before television...
Even black and white Doordarshan came to Madras only after 1975!

Most young ones like me...
Had no access to a plethora of magazines....
The Madras Mail..that now defunct newspaper...
Was all that was available...
And news over the radio!!
No Internet...no...nothing!!!

The photograph was a treasure..
And years later...
I saw that some one...Birth mother??...
Had stuck it in an album...
And then it disappeared!!!

Some icons should be allowed to live forever..
Pataudi's demise jolted me...
A little click..
And a small door from the distant past was shut!!!
The end of a "teen" dream...

Now..
Madrasgirl can never become the Second Begum of Pataudi.. for sure..
Sigh!!!!

A near perfect match!!!!!

Before Spouse and I were married...
An astrologer pronounced our horoscopes a near perfect fit!!!
We had an 80% match!!!

I wondered then..
What this 20% mismatch could consist of!!
I only had to wait..
Until we sat together at table!!!
Which is where it usually begins!!!

Perhaps it's because...
My heritage in terms of food is soooo different from his...

As a child...
Every meal at Grandmother's table...
Was an assertion...
That we were at the very top of the food chain!!!!

Meals...meals??..
Nay!... those were really feasts!!!
Slow cooked over wood fires...
We were served...at least two of the following at every meal....
Kari kuzhambu made of mutton and potatoes, kari urundais (minced meat balls for the Tamil challenged), sura puttu, nandu kulambu, brain fry, liver fry, mutton chops, fried fish of many sorts, including my favourite mathi, prawn fry, muttai attu, biriyani...
Even the veggies like avarakkai had a fistful of tiny shrimp added to tempt us along!!!
The very best of Mudaliar cooking was ours to eat!!!
At every meal...

On Sundays...
Breakfast began with dosas...
Washed down with a korma of minced meat..
And a fried egg or two...
By 10 AM....
My siblings and I ...
Felt like happy anacondas that had just nibbled on a herd of succulent goat!!!
As they waited for more to appear!!!!!
At lunch and thereafter...

Those animals that escaped being served up at Grandmother's table..
Like venison, pork, wild boar, rabbits, partridge and other such fowl...
Were caught and quickly cooked up...
To be served up at my Father's table!!!!

Here..
The style of cooking varied depending on Father's geographic location in terms of posting..
Or the region to which their friends at that point belonged!!

So..
We had Hyderabadi biriyani, kormas, paaya....,
And then drove down to the little stalls on Tank Bund ...
For boti kababs and sheekh kababs...
Goan friends served us fiery pork vindaloo !!
In Hyderabad!!

Mutton rogan josh, chicken makkhani, palak gosh, moghlai chicken, gurde kapure...
Delighted our taste buds in Delhi...
And while in Kashmir...
We feasted on gushtaba, rishta and yakhni biriyani...
In Trivandrum..
The charms of meen moilee, karimeen, monster prawns bought off the Chinese fishing nets in Cochin and covered in batter and deep fried, stews, cutlets et al...
Held us in thrall!!!

My recipe books contained....
ONLY non-vegetarian dishes...
And who can blame me for thinking that good food = non-vegetarian food ONLY!!!!
It was in this condition that I entered my marital home....
Only to find that I had been married off...alas!!..
To a sheep in wolf's clothing!!!!

In my new home...
There was shock..
When I tried to serve eggs for breakfast (minus the bacon and ham and sausages that I would have loved to add!!)....
The reaction was: Non-veg??? At breakfast?? Cheee chee!!!
Then I was told that it was allowed only on certain days...
We settled on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays....
Only to find that minor monthly festivals...
Like sashti, kirthigai, pradotcham, amavasai et al...
Invariably occurred on these days!!!!
Very unfair!!!!

I fought on valiantly!!!
Winner by my side...
I managed to sup on New England clam chowder in Boston...
Devoured Thai hawker food in Bangkok...
Tried reindeer meat in Finnish Lapland and Chicken a la Kiev in Helsinki...

We hit our all-time low in Singapore...
When Winner and I wanted to try their famous fish head curry...
And Singapore chilli crab...
And found ourselves instead...
Eating ela sappadu in one of those eateries off Serangoon Road!!

Then I turned vegetarian....
To the delight of Spouse and his clan!!!

Have the food wars ended???
Not a chance..

I invariably head for paneer butter masala, rajma, cholae, Gobi Manchurian, baked dishes...
He wants authentic South Indian ...preferably brahmin saapadu!!

OK...Enough said..
I am off to make...uppuma...
I like mine tempered with patta, with tomatoes added..
He likes his tempered with large quantities of urad and channa dal...runny...with no tomatoes!!!
Hmmm...what to do???

Ciao!!!!

Of Mendel's peas and the Amazon in my family tree...

On Wednesday..
Google reminded us of Mendel's 189th birthday..
With its logo made of peas!

I do not remember the peas..
But I do remember the theory!!
Perhaps because as a student..
I used my family as an aide-memoir!

Grandfather who towered over us at 6 ft 2 inches...
Was married to Grandmother...
A diminutive 5 feet nothing
Of their children...
Father is tall...
Aunts 1, 2 and 3 were/are short!
Just like Mendel said!!!!

As a child...
I was constantly told...
That I looked the picture of Surrogate Mother!!
When strangers pointed to the resemblance and assumed that I was her daughter...
She would not correct them..
Instead...she beamed with happiness!!!

Come adolescence...
Things changed...
Instead of staying short and delicate and small-boned...
With long flowing hair... like her...
My limbs grew and went into overdrive...
The resemblance became more faint with the passing years...
Darn!!!

For this I have to thank the Amazon in my family tree...
My petite grandmother's tall and big-made Mother!
An Amazon of a woman!!!!
I inherited her genetic traits!!
Alas!!!

My loss

When I was in school..
Two ladies always came together...
To talk to my teachers or pick me up.

My classmates said..
You have two mothers..
Surrogate Mother and Birth mother ...
I have always thought so too...

On Friday night..
Surrogate Mother passed away...
When I was at the other end of the world..

The World Cup and its unsung heroes!!!!

The World Cup is ours!!!
The Victory lap has been run..
Dhoni and his boys have been glorified!!
The team has been rewarded in cash and in kind!!!
But sadly some who played a major role in the Victory remain unsung!!!

The truth may stun you..
But it has to be told....
Spouse ...
And some others of similar mettle!!!!
Played a major role!!!
And really deserve a part of the glory!!!

Without them..
Like Sita...
The World Cup may have been snatched and taken away across the seas to Lanka!!!!

Here's what happened...
It is Spouse's firm belief that if he watches India play...
We will lose!!!!!
And to his credit...
He acted on this belief!!!

When India played Pakistan...
Spouse...an ardent cricket fan...
Forced himself to go to bed early!!!
Sure enough...
India won!!!!
That proved it!!!
He had hit upon the sure-shot mantra for victory!!!

So
When the Finals came on...
He watched Srilanka bat...
And then...
Crept unwillingly to bed...
Stirred only by the sound of a distant cracker...
He rushed to the TV...
To watch Dhoni hit us to victory!!!!

Just across..
In my parental home...
Birth mother was forced by Father et al...
To remain confined to the bedroom....
Apparently...
The longer she stayed inside..
The more runs India made!!!

So you see..
The World Cup was not won by the Indian cricket team alone...
So many...like Spouse...
Heroic in their own way...
Indulged in some similar act of idiocy....
Sometimes bordering on lunacy!!!
Only to ensure India's victory!!!!

Across the length and breadth of the country...
Cricket fans valiantly refrained..
From moving from uncomfortable positions on the couch...
From indulging in a loo break...and...
Promised to perform abishekams..archanais... and tonsure their heads!!!
All to ensure an Indian victory!!!

Madrasgirl salutes these unsung heroes!!!
Born to blush unseen...

Truly...
The World Cup was won ONLY by such acts of solemn sacrifice!!!
This was a TEAM INDIAN effort!!!

Jai Hind!!!!!!

The rhythm of routine....

Routine..
The word conjures images...
Of being stuck in a groove...
Like the needle of a record player....
Or being yoked to a plough...
Like oxen!!

Routine has become synonymous with the rat race that is our lives today!!!
We are constantly trying to break away from it!!!

Yet...
All of us have routines that we follow..
Little rituals that we perform on a daily basis..
In a certain order.....

Every day....
We follow...
Those same little patterns of being and doing!!!!

My routine in the morning....
Now that summer has set in...
Is to sit out on the verandah...
And read the morning papers...

My cup of coffee in hand....
I look up every now and then...
To listen to the ruckus of the birds in the trees...

I look forward to this....
It sets the pace for the rest of my day!!!!

Soon...
This pattern may change a little...
I may go pluck some flowers for the morning pooja..
And then do the newspaper-coffee on the verandah routine!!

Or I may abandon it for a new routine...
I may nip across and have coffee in my parental home!!!

Our daily routines...
Change in subtle small ways...
That we barely notice!!
But they are enjoyable...
And perhaps..
Because they are predictable...
They lend comfort..
And add a touch of certainty to our existence!!!

Yet...
When there is a crisis of any sort in our lives........
Routine is the first casualty!!!
It is quickly abandoned!!!
We then long for those familiar patterns...
Of living of normality!!!...

We miss our usual daily routine!!!

I love those little routines...
That are a part of my life...
They add a certain cadence...
A rhythm to my life!!!

Hey!!
But then..I am a creature of habit!!

Adios!!!

The perfect life.......

Brother and I..
Used to be sent to junior school...
In a hand-pulled rickshaw.....

As we went over the first big bridge in Chetpet...
We would see...

A man wearing a hat...
Sitting on a bench...
Under the shade of a tree....
On the island.....
In the middle of Chetpet lake....
Angling for fish...
And watching the world go by.....

He was...
Insulated from the hustle and bustle...
Of everyday routine...
Free of the fear of going to school...
With homework half done...
To face an irate school teacher!!!

Free of office!!!
Free of all forms of organizational slavery!!!!

I envied him so much!!!
This lone angler...
Who seemed to be living the perfect life!!!
Hey!...I could aspire to be something like this!!!

I was therefore pleasantly surprised when Surrogate Mother's spouse..
Said he too had envied someone...
In almost the same manner!!

Years ago..
He would drop Surrogate Mother off at her clinic...
A middle-aged man lived opposite...
He would sit at his doorway...
On his easy-chair....
Reading a newspaper and glancing up at the world going by....
Much to the envy of SM's spouse...
Who had to trudge off to an office job he never really cared about!!!

I wonder if all of us have someone...
Whom we saw..
As leading a charmed existence!!!
The Huck Finns of the world....
Who had opted out...
And watched as a crazy world ....
Rushed by!!!!

Cheers then!!!

Difficult to let go.......

Living in an enclave...
Of elderly relatives....
Makes one aware..
More than ever of the fragility of life...
And its impermanence...

We often move from one crisis..
To the next...
As the old have their problems...

One surfaces..
As the next struggles under...

Wise friend counsels me to..
Learn to let go...
If you really love them...
You will let them go...

Easier said than done...

Having reached and crossed the mid-century mark...
I look around and find that almost half the familiar faces...
Of those friends of family and relatives...distant and near...
That have peopled my life up until now..
Are no longer there...

I have been fortunate...
To have had them with me until now...
But that only makes it more difficult...
Especially because
My life has revolved around them these past few years...

Perhaps it is also because..
I am more bound to their generation...
Feel closer and more comfortable with them..
Than with the younger ones...
I feel...
More cherished by them....

It is natural therefore...
That I value them...

They are old friends...
Among the best that I have had...
So I like to be selfish..
And hope that they will stay on..

As..
I'd hate to say
Goodbye....

Those lazy Sundays....

I miss those lazy Sundays...
Of my childhood and youth...
In my Grandfather's house..
And later my Father's....
Before Spouse et al came into my life!!

Rising late..
Reading the Sunday papers...
Eating a hearty breakfast....
Lounging unwashed around the house till evening....
Reading a book....
Were pleasures I never appreciated enough back then..

Now Sundays are punctuated...
By visitors dropping in...
Mundane chores to be done...
Some place that has to be gone to...
Something that has to get done...
Routine creeps into the weekend too!!
Sigh!!!

Is Spouse the unwitting villain then??
Or is it the matrimonial state...
That is the Sunday-spoiler of all time!!!

To be etched in my memory.......

Yesterday.....
After dinner..
I walked in to my parents' home..
For a late night chat!!
And found Father beaming!!!

He had spent all morning...
Looking over an old file of letters...
That he had found...
And told me about it..

I could not resist...
I looked too and found...
Among others...
Old letters written by Birth mother...
In January 1958....

All about me...
Being spoilt silly by grandparents...
Being mean to Ponni...
The girl from Cook's village...
Who was then my playmate...

Yes!!!
We employed child labour..
Back then.. :(
Birth mother takes Ponni's side...

Seems like I was a little wild thing!!!
Seems like I was rather unpredictable too...

Birth mother apologizes for her handwriting...
Unable to find her pen...
She says she had to use a wooden pen with a nib that had to be dipped into an inkstand!!!!

Little nuggets of memory come back...
I used to call my father Bubba...
I had forgotten that!!
And Surrogate Mother...
Was Cho-cha aunty!!!

Good to see Grandfather's loping hand...once again..

I see Birth mother in a new light...
She seems to have worried a great deal about me...
And I always thought she was the carefree uncaring one back then!!!

She asks Father to do an archanai
To Thyagarajar at Tiruvarur!!
In my name!!!

I sense two young people.....
Fretting and fussing over their first child...
Taking their first steps as parents....
A little unsure of themselves!!!

I realize that ...
I share a different bond with them...
I go further back than my siblings...
I am filled with warmth..
And affection....

I read out bits of old letters...
Written to Father...
By people now long dead!!!!
And then come home...

The day ended well!!!
Shared memories made it
An evening to be remembered...

May there be such days in your life too!!!
Adios!!!

The return of the NRIs

They descend on us...
When the weather turns cool in these parts....
In December and January...
Colourful...
Like what I imagine Birds of Paradise would be..
Full of chatter...

In our family..
We call them the NRIs..
Or non-resident Indians...
We have two groups of them....
Living on opposite sides of the globe...
In North America...
And Down Under...

In our home...
Spouse and I
Prepare for Winner's arrival...

Corners and crannies are dusted...
Windows washed...
Favourite recipes and restaurant visits planned....
Cook is sufficiently warned...
Not to do the disappearing act... as Thambi is coming!!!

Next door..
Birth mother goes through the same pangs...
Waiting for Kid brother No: 2 and his brood to arrive!!

They arrive...
Our time becomes theirs...
As we wait on them...for them.. with them!!!
Share their hopes and dreams and fears!!!!
Visit haunts and retreats ..normally out of our beaten track!!
Enjoy ourselves!!!

Winner...
Quickly gets into the swing of things...
Quickly begins to drive on the left...
Shows sundry two-wheeler riders the finger...
Invites them to "Vaa..Vandhu muttiko.." (Come..Come and dash on me..to the Tamizh challeged!!)
It is difficult to take Chennai out of him!!!

Not so...
The kids from Kiwi land...
We are...
A short stopover..
between Bali and Singapore..
On their way back to what they call home!!

Chennai is too crowded..
Too dirty...
They hate this Indian milk with the cream floating on top!!!
The mosquitoes...
The sweat....
And so on and on and on...

They do like Landmark...
The food at MCC..Dynasty...et al...
And our company...I hope!!!

They are away in a flash...
Hugs and handshakes..
Given and taken!!!

I wonder at them..
Until I see this quotation on Favourite nephew No:1's Facebook page:
“If you came back, you wanted to leave again; if you went away, you longed to come back. Wherever you were, you could hear the call of the homeland, like the note of the herdsman's horn far away in the hills. You had one home out there and one over here, and yet you were an alien in both places. Your true abiding place was the vision of something very far off, and your soul was like the waves, always restless, forever in motion.”

The homes here are rather empty..
We wait for their next coming..

While I exult in the knowledge...
That I am where I belong...
I am home...

As a New Year dawns....

I wonder whether..
Life gets better as Time moves on...
Or do we just get better at dealing with what it brings??

What irked us ...
Annoyed us...
Embarrassed us..
In our youth...
Now seem inconsequential....

Do we sharpen our skills...at dealing with Life...
Improve at living as we age??
Or is it that we are...
More prepared to be thrown off-course...
More ready to dust ourselves up..
And move on???

Are we different now..
Do we dance to a different tune???
And is that because..
Many of those who went"tut tut"..
And held us to a certain behavior...
Are now no longer around??

Are we more free???
Why then do I feel more enslaved???

Is Madrasgirl going to turn philosopher in 2011???
Let's just watch this space...
Shall we??

Adios!!!!