Move over Peter Principle...here comes Madrasgirl!!

I stumbled upon my first management book..
While still in school...
Searching my father's collection...
While looking over my shoulder at the same time!!!!!..
Hunting for those forbidden books...
For Harold Robbins!!!!...
Or other early 70s soft porn gurus!!!..
Instead...
I came across The Peter Principle....
And was riveted by it!!!

The Peter Principle goes like this:
In a hierarchy, every individual rises to his level of incompetence....
Simple!!!!
With case studies and explanations at every step...
So clear, interesting and understandable...
Even to a schoolgirl!!

Now several decades later...
I think I too have hit upon a management principle...
That needs studying...
And delving into...
For want of a better name..
I shall christen it...
The Madrasgirl Principle....

It goes like this:
In an organization, the number of meetings held is directly proportionate to the lack of meaningful employment within it!!

But before we all scream Eureka!!!...
Let me explain in greater detail!!!!
Meetings are an important tool within organizations...
A means ....
Of keeping track of schedules...
Discussing strategies...
Reviewing progress..
Looking at work loads....
A sounding board...to bounce off ideas...
Where team spirit prevails...or should...in an ideal world!!!!

But what if the emphasis is only on reportage??
Only to see if the troops are doing their bit...
If it becomes a control thing alone???
A top-down affair!!!

If there is one big meeting...
Followed by several small meetings throughout the week...
Just to review quantum of work achieved...
And this apart from filing monthly...weekly...and daily reports...
To The Powers that be...
Located in other parts of the organization..
In a different floor perhaps...
At Corporate Office...or maybe...
At Central Office???
It then actually does prevent work from getting done....
Doesn't it???

The meetings then become ends in themselves...
Both for the meet-ors...which term will henceforth refer to those who call the meetings
And the meet-ees....those constrained to attend these get-togethers!!!
At the end of the day...
One can only be meetinged out...
In this futile endeavor!!!

With endless repetition of the same thing...
It is only natural...
That employees learn...
To spin it all out....
Maybe by...
Telling funny stories about their suppliers!!!
Or complaining about their bankers!!!!
Add zip and zing to a dull tale...

In short...much energy is spent on..
Making a day's work seem as difficult as...
Or even as exciting as....
A trip up the Amazon in a catamaran...
With the crocodiles snapping!!!!...
And the piranhas biting!!!!

Which brings me to the Corollary to the Madrasgirl Principle:
Work reports at such meetings are always exaggerated to the point of ludicrousness!!

The idea is...
To make a little seem like a lot...
And a lot seem like a mountain!!!
After all...very few are willing..or want..
To say it like it is...
As a bland unembellished tale will inevitably elicit the response:
Is that all???...
Hmmph....

The Madrasgirl Principle would like to look into deeper aspects of the game...
Such as...
Should meetings have entertainment value????
It depends...
On what the meet-or chairing the meeting wants to bring to the table...
It could be fun and mind invigorating games!!!!...
It could be show and tell!!!....
Or only just all show...with nothing much to tell!!!

But then.....
The Madrasgirl Principle is no simple matter...and...
A blog entry is hardly sufficient to analyze it!!!
Discuss it threadbare...
Or examine it...
In depth!!!


Postscript
Madrasgirl plans to look for funding...
From the Ford Foundation perhaps...
Or the East-West Center...in Hawaii...
Or maybe some professor at MIT will take her under his wing....

So that she may...
Delve deeper...
And decipher the impact The Principle she has stumbled upon has....
On matters corporate...

But while she waits for the funds to roll in.....
She has only one expectation of meetings...
That her turn comes first....
So that she can switch off mentally thereafter!!!....
Sport a vapid smile...
And look on the proceedings...
With a suitably glazed look!!!

Can life really get better than that??
You think????

Golden Chariot...Ascetic God.....

Some journeys...
Like marriages...
Are truly made in heaven!!!

I had a vow to fulfil...
To the Andavar at Palani...
The ascetic God...
Who stands...
Clad in a loin cloth..
Staff in hand...
And so is called....
Thandayuthapani...

Train journeys fill me with foreboding...
Images of mangled corpses...
Twisted...
Charred remains..
Haunt my dreams...

Why don't we go by car???
I ask...
My suggestion is quickly shot down...

But the journey is pleasant!!!!
Comfortable..
We are met at Dindugal...
In the early hours of the morning...
Conveyed to our Hotel in Palani..

A few hours later...
We begin to walk uphill..
By the path that the elephants took...in the old days...
An hour later...
We arrive at the top of the hill!!
Buy the ticket for the Golden Chariot ritual..
Then a quick darshan..

A horde of pilgrims...
Clad in ochre robes..
Beads around their neck...
Shout..
Arohara...
And dance...
Their spirits at a high!!!!
The most enthusiastic..
Leads in front...
Swirling like a dervish ....
All of them...
Transported...
To a different energy level...

We express our devotion
In so many ...different ways...
To reach...the same destination!!!!

Later..
As I sit on the steps...
Outside the sanctum...
Waiting to be allowed in to the ucchi kala pooja...
I close my eyes...
Suddenly...
I hear more boisterous shouts...
Of the same...
Arohara.....

The noise swirls around...
And around the shrine...
Where..
He stands..
The Still Center..of our being....
Watching...
Listening to this cacophony...
That symbolizes the tumult of life and living....
Taking in..our Worship of Him....
Approving...

I enjoy the rituals of the abhishekam...
Feel cleansed...born again...
My faith replenished...
And then we trudge out...

In the evening...
We wait at our post for the ritual of the Golden Chariot to begin...
It begins to drizzle...
We worry..
Will it be canceled after all???
But it isn't...

The Golden Chariot...
Pulled by devotees...
Appears on the horizon...
Quite suddenly...
Resplendent!!!!!....
Glorious!!!!!....

And there He is..
The Ascetic God....
The little utschavar...
Now shimmers in His Garb of Diamonds...
He strikes a pose..
Staff in hand...
He seems to smile....
He looks....
So stylish!!!

We move in to take our turn at pulling the Chariot...
Take the silver yoke...
And push it..
To more shouts of Arohara...
From the waiting crowds!!!!

Even my normally prosaic spouse..
Turns poetic..
The drizzle seemed like someone was drenching the earth...
Before making a kolam...he says
As he keeps going back..
To see Him...
Again and again!!!

We move away..after our turn...
And after another brief look at the Moolavar
We return for the final benediction...
And then leave...
For the journey to the town...

I need this...
To touch base with my Maker...
It rejuvenates me...
Fills me with fresh...
Hope..
And enthusiasm!!!

We return...
To our every day lives
Refreshed!!!

Of Tirupathi miracles and such like....

It happened to me twice within two days...

First an sms..
Informing me of Sai Baba's birthday...
Promising good news by the end of the day...
If I passed it on...
I did...
I got no news....
Maybe that was the good news!!!

Then another...
More dire...an email..
About the Tirupathi Miracle...
Promising disaster if I did not pass it on..
To 20 other hapless souls!!!
I did..
Two of them said they wished I had not passed on such a threatening message...
I wish I hadn't..really.!!!.
The others probably cursed me under their breath...
Which could not have done me much good..I am sure...

All of us are the victims of such forwards..
I say victims...
Because often...
These forwards catch us at a vulnerable moment in our lives...
When a loved one is at a critical phase in his or her life...
Or maybe someone is unwell...
And so on..

I marvel at those who can get rid of these...
With the click of a delete button...
They are the practical ones...
The ones who see through these messages...

But even these practical ones...
Have sent me emails...
Almost always from children suffering from cancer....
Saying they will be paid ...
10 cents per forward...never more or less!!
For every email forwarded into cyberspace!!!

A recent one was from a victim of 9/11...
Who said The Red Cross would pay for each forward...
And now The Red Cross has confirmed...
That it is doing no such thing!!!

How I wish someone could contact the Heavenly Ones...
Find out whether...
Lord Venkateswara at Tirupathi...
or Shirdhi Sai Baba...
Endorse these mails sent in their name...
Supposedly on their behalf!!!!

Such forwards have existed for a long time...
They were called chain mails...
Before the dawn of the personal computer era..
And one broke the link in the chain at ones peril!!!!

Back when I was in school...
My mother repeatedly got in the mail....
A more nasty version of the Tirupathi miracle forward...
It promised death...
In addition to disaster...for breaking the chain...
That freaked her out completely!!!!

She conscripted me and my siblings...
Between us...
We wrote five postcards each....with the miserable message...
Then randomly picked 20 addresses from the Madras Telephone Directory...
Got it all out of the way!!!
And breathed a sigh of relief!!!

With emails..
Random selection...
Or anonymity is not possible...
One is forced to choose from among ones loved ones...close friends...co-workers....
A difficult choice...
As it feels like we are really passing on a parcel of wretched feelings!!!!
And often we may not even have 20 addresses in our address book!!!!

I often wonder...
Who starts these things???
And to what purpose???
Is is some warped vow taken by someone???
Or is the sender having a hearty laugh at having set us on this futile mission???

My friend thinks...
They could be spammers trying to collect addresses to send more spam to us in future...
They could be hackers trying to get your keystrokes..
And you could stand exposed if you are doing internet banking...
Some dire consequences could result!!!

To me..
It reveals once again...
Who I sometimes become...
Especially at vulnerable moments in life...
And life is full of such moments...
At least mine is!!!!

So instead of falling prey...
I need to focus on the Essential Goodness of the Divine!!!
With Him by my side...
Need I fret over forwards???
I guess not!!!

So.....
The delete button it shall be ...
For all such mails..henceforth!!!

So Rejoice all Ye!!!...
Who have thus far been affected by my forwards...
Your moment of Liberation...
Has arrived!!!
At last!!!

Adios!!!

Do companies have a personality????

Do companies have a personality????
I believe they do...

Companies like people...
Have a face...
A public one..
And a private one...

Just look around you!!!
At the millions spent...
On image-building...
In corporate houses...
To present the right face...
Or the most politically correct one!!!

A company's personality..then...
Is an amalgam...
The end result ...
Of the ideas that formed it...
The unspoken code of conduct that it stands for...
Its public posture...
The causes it may take on....
The values it espouses...
The work atmosphere...
The way it treats its employees...
And sundry other little details!!!

That said..
Let's try our hand at guessing the persona of some of these...companies...
Past, passing and present!!!

East India Company???
It brings to my mind...
A European adventurer..and sea farer.....
Out to pillage the world...
Mercantile...yet menacing!!

Satyam??
Couldn't be further from the Truth...which is what its name stands for!!!
Indeed..there is so much to a corporate name...
Coming to think of it!!!

Satyam's persona to me...
Has always been Andhra..with a vengeance!!
A 40 plus Telugu computer geek...

Infosys??
Is bespectacled....
Like its Founder and Chief Mentor…..
He is Infosys....
His personality infuses the organization in the public eye...
Professional...
Intelligent!!!
Ahead of the pack!!!

One could go on and on.....

At India's first business magazine...
Where I cut my teeth as a trainee reporter...
Our publisher encouraged us...
To swear allegiance to the Truth...
As we saw it!!!...
And to sneer at the Ad department...
If they ventured into our territory...
In search of PR!!!

The personality of the magazine.....
Was distinctly youthful.... and yuppie!!!
Like one of those cocky IIM (A) grads...
Who flooded the place back then!!!

Since then...
I have seen other places...
Been with other corporate personalities!!!
And enjoyed them all!!

And now...
It is my karma...
In the autumn of my life....
To be associated with an organization which has the persona of a middle aged woman!!!!

That's right!!!
Sweatshop...
Is a post-menopausal woman!!!!...
Moody..
Its ways are often unfathomable!!!!
And increasingly inclined to yearn for youth...
Nay...it is...
Totally obsessed ...
And so enamored by it!!!

I used to be thin and tall.....a co-worker tells me..
As we wait on the High Road...to go home..
Only my headlights used to stick out like that!!!!..she says..
Headlights???
Oh..she means...
My eyes unwillingly stray to her bosom...
Ample!!!
But I hardly want to think of them as headlights!!!
And anyway...
Does one's youth matter so much???
Apparently it does!!!

Especially since the past is a beautiful dream...
The present..
And future...
Full of yearning....

Perhaps it is...
Time now to bring out the glad rags...
And move into the Kitty party circuit???...

I wonder .....
As I listen politely...
To a senior editor read a short story ...out aloud...
On a quiet March afternoon...
In company time...
To a captive audience!!!!

The place should be a perfect fit!!!..
Given the number of years under my belt!!!
But it isn't!!

Is it because of a lifetime of abhorring ladies meets???
And staying clear of them???
Of believing that man or woman...
We are the human race..
And therefore our basic humanity should bind us together??
Not separate the sexes???
Is it because I still don't have a handle on the games ladies play???
Do I think such games are mentally inferior???..
And somehow beneath me???

Or could it be that I am really a 30-year old...
Trapped in a 53-year old body???
You think???
Or maybe...
Just maybe...
It is MY post menopausal persona...kicking in!!!

Just be my guest..
And take a wild guess....
See ya then

Jai Ho!!!!

Jai Ho!!!
That pretty much sums up my feelings for the week....

Slumdog Millionaire ...
Which I still haven't seen...
Has done for us...
What India Shining and Incredible India campaigns could not do...
Made us feel that maybe we Indians do have something about us...after all!!!...
Something unique...

Our 'never say die' spirit!!!!......
And our top quality talent...and performers
Who remain hidden...unrecognized...unsung!!!!...
Until the white man comes along...
And shows us how great they really are!!!!

I still don't get what Rehman meant when he said..
All his life.. he could choose between love and hate....
And he chose love....
Do you??
He was fortunate!!!...he could choose!!!...
But what about those who have hate thrust upon them???
I think we need a philosophic/religious discourse to explain that one to us!!!

But then....
Oscar speeches can't be easy to pull off!!!...
And Rehman deserves his two Oscar statuettes...
If not for Jai Ho...which is rather uninspiring...then for all his other wonderful creative efforts...
Vande matharam is my personal favorite...

And I did like it...
When Pookutty dedicated his Oscar to "my country"...
Wonderful India moment there!!!

Wonderful INDIA moment all around..
Inspiring to all Indians..the world over...

All I can say...
With a rather full heart...is...
Way to go India!!!

JAI HO!!!!