The perfect life.......

Brother and I..
Used to be sent to junior school...
In a hand-pulled rickshaw.....

As we went over the first big bridge in Chetpet...
We would see...

A man wearing a hat...
Sitting on a bench...
Under the shade of a tree....
On the island.....
In the middle of Chetpet lake....
Angling for fish...
And watching the world go by.....

He was...
Insulated from the hustle and bustle...
Of everyday routine...
Free of the fear of going to school...
With homework half done...
To face an irate school teacher!!!

Free of office!!!
Free of all forms of organizational slavery!!!!

I envied him so much!!!
This lone angler...
Who seemed to be living the perfect life!!!
Hey!...I could aspire to be something like this!!!

I was therefore pleasantly surprised when Surrogate Mother's spouse..
Said he too had envied someone...
In almost the same manner!!

Years ago..
He would drop Surrogate Mother off at her clinic...
A middle-aged man lived opposite...
He would sit at his doorway...
On his easy-chair....
Reading a newspaper and glancing up at the world going by....
Much to the envy of SM's spouse...
Who had to trudge off to an office job he never really cared about!!!

I wonder if all of us have someone...
Whom we saw..
As leading a charmed existence!!!
The Huck Finns of the world....
Who had opted out...
And watched as a crazy world ....
Rushed by!!!!

Cheers then!!!

Difficult to let go.......

Living in an enclave...
Of elderly relatives....
Makes one aware..
More than ever of the fragility of life...
And its impermanence...

We often move from one crisis..
To the next...
As the old have their problems...

One surfaces..
As the next struggles under...

Wise friend counsels me to..
Learn to let go...
If you really love them...
You will let them go...

Easier said than done...

Having reached and crossed the mid-century mark...
I look around and find that almost half the familiar faces...
Of those friends of family and relatives...distant and near...
That have peopled my life up until now..
Are no longer there...

I have been fortunate...
To have had them with me until now...
But that only makes it more difficult...
Especially because
My life has revolved around them these past few years...

Perhaps it is also because..
I am more bound to their generation...
Feel closer and more comfortable with them..
Than with the younger ones...
I feel...
More cherished by them....

It is natural therefore...
That I value them...

They are old friends...
Among the best that I have had...
So I like to be selfish..
And hope that they will stay on..

As..
I'd hate to say
Goodbye....

Those lazy Sundays....

I miss those lazy Sundays...
Of my childhood and youth...
In my Grandfather's house..
And later my Father's....
Before Spouse et al came into my life!!

Rising late..
Reading the Sunday papers...
Eating a hearty breakfast....
Lounging unwashed around the house till evening....
Reading a book....
Were pleasures I never appreciated enough back then..

Now Sundays are punctuated...
By visitors dropping in...
Mundane chores to be done...
Some place that has to be gone to...
Something that has to get done...
Routine creeps into the weekend too!!
Sigh!!!

Is Spouse the unwitting villain then??
Or is it the matrimonial state...
That is the Sunday-spoiler of all time!!!

To be etched in my memory.......

Yesterday.....
After dinner..
I walked in to my parents' home..
For a late night chat!!
And found Father beaming!!!

He had spent all morning...
Looking over an old file of letters...
That he had found...
And told me about it..

I could not resist...
I looked too and found...
Among others...
Old letters written by Birth mother...
In January 1958....

All about me...
Being spoilt silly by grandparents...
Being mean to Ponni...
The girl from Cook's village...
Who was then my playmate...

Yes!!!
We employed child labour..
Back then.. :(
Birth mother takes Ponni's side...

Seems like I was a little wild thing!!!
Seems like I was rather unpredictable too...

Birth mother apologizes for her handwriting...
Unable to find her pen...
She says she had to use a wooden pen with a nib that had to be dipped into an inkstand!!!!

Little nuggets of memory come back...
I used to call my father Bubba...
I had forgotten that!!
And Surrogate Mother...
Was Cho-cha aunty!!!

Good to see Grandfather's loping hand...once again..

I see Birth mother in a new light...
She seems to have worried a great deal about me...
And I always thought she was the carefree uncaring one back then!!!

She asks Father to do an archanai
To Thyagarajar at Tiruvarur!!
In my name!!!

I sense two young people.....
Fretting and fussing over their first child...
Taking their first steps as parents....
A little unsure of themselves!!!

I realize that ...
I share a different bond with them...
I go further back than my siblings...
I am filled with warmth..
And affection....

I read out bits of old letters...
Written to Father...
By people now long dead!!!!
And then come home...

The day ended well!!!
Shared memories made it
An evening to be remembered...

May there be such days in your life too!!!
Adios!!!