As the Board results roll in....

Two stories...

A former colleague's brilliant son....
Ended up with 79% in three out of four subjects...
In the CBSE Std XII exams....
He had his sights firmly set on a berth in medical college..
Based on academic merit....
Disappointed..
He is trying to get his papers revalued!!
As we keep our fingers crossed....

A neighbour's daughter
Totted up a grand average of 64%..
In the State Board Standard XII exams...
Her father has his sights firmly set on a berth for her...
In medical college!!!...
He is trying to mortgage his home....
To pay a donation of Rs 40 lakhs in a private medical college!!!!
As we wonder whether this is the sensible thing to do....

Actually there is a third story...

Writer in Residence...
Heard from her daughter in the USA last week...
The girl has just graduated with a Bachelors degree in economics...
She has now changed her mind!!!
Her sights are now suddenly...
But firmly set on becoming a vet!!!!
Somehow...
This seems to be the best situation to be in!!!

A favourite lecturer in college...
Was fond of telling us...
That the word school..
Originated from the Greek skholḗ
It meant leisure!!!!
I wish those halcyon days would return...
When one could study for the love of it!!!

After all...
What do marks reflect???
At best..
That the student is a hard working disciplined learner...
Who has cracked the code...
For success in the exams!!!!

It does not reflect...
His character...
His personality...
His values...
His ability to perform on the job...
Maybe not even his intellgence..
Or aptitude for the job...

Yet..
Success in the dreaded Boards...
Can open those doors to the best institutions...
Or shut you out forever....

No wonder...
Even last week...
I dreamt that I was writing an exam...
And at the end of it all...
Had not...
Could not..
Write more than three lines...
I woke up in cold sweat!!!
In a state of panic!!!

Oh!!
The horror!!!
The horror of it all!!!!
Pity the poor kids!!
Don't you????

And what's with the accent???? Huh?????

It happened the other day...
A coworker...
Off on a marketing quest into the rural hinterland...
Foxed us all...
The travel agent especially..
When she asked whether her tickets to Kolam were booked???

Kolam???
Yes!!!
As in the decorations with rice flour that South Indians like to draw...
At the entrance to their homes???
No!!!!...
As in...
Kollam...
The new name for ye olde Quilon!!!!

Duh??!!!

And to think that this atrocious mangling of a South Indian tongue..
Came...
From one who has spent at least 15 years of her life...
Holed up in a plantation in the Anamallais..
Often with only Tamil-speaking coolies for company!!!!
Strange!!!

Ever so often...
I wince.....

Especially when I hear one from the North of the Vindhyas..
Refer to Madras..
The city of my birth...
Not even as Chennai....
But as Ch-NAAI!!!

Why is it that North Indians can never learn to speak Tamil????....
Sorry...Tha-meeeel....
Or is it Madrassi???
Why can't they learn to pronounce the words properly????...
Or just learn to handle Ch-NAAI-speak???

Even those...
Who have lived in Chennai for four or five generations...
Always...
Deliver their lines with an accent...
Which can only be the stuff of comedy...
In Tamil films!!!!

Is it that they cannot...
Or that they will not...
And if not...
Then why the heck not????

Surely...this is a mystery...
Ripe for investigation!!!!

At the other end of the spectrum...
Are those South Indians...
Born and bred...
Up North.....
Who go all out...
To tell you that it is not..
Pa or ba..but pha and bha...
mit-tha-i not mittai!!

How could you not know???...
Or handle something as basic as that????
This coterie wonders!!!!...
Lapsing at every opportunity into that lingo ..
That bonds them...

This cabal....
Takes pride in getting its Hindi accent just so...
As if being able to do so...
Somehow...
Puts them in some kind of an uber class!!!


Is it that the South Indian languages are hard on the tongue???
But hey!!!
Then what about other languages???
Like Thai??...
The language spoken in Thailand???
With its rising..falling...rising-falling...falling-rising tones???
They should suck at that ...
Right???
But no!!!

I have heard Sardarjis...
Even those who have just stepped off an Indian Airlines flight...
Hold forth in that complicated tongue...
As if it they had learnt it at their mother's knee!!!...
Then why does Tamil..
Get the cold shoulder???

Could it be that the North Indians...
Are only Tamil-challenged???

But South Indians...
On the other hand...
At least..
Those of the born there-bred there variety......
Are not similarly...Hindi-challenged???

I think at least some of the SouthIndian attitudes to Hindi
Have been shaped by a yester-years movie..
Called Padosan...
In which Mehmood...
Plays a South Indian brahmin dance teacher....
The North Indians just loved it!!!!

But it was really...
A cruel portrayal...
A humiliating one....
Vicious...
And very tasteless...
And insensitive to the feelings of those from the South...
It left an indelible impression on the psyche...
Of all South Indians living above the Tropic of Cancer!

And it is my humble opinion...
That ever since then...
South Indians born in those climes...
Want to disassociate themselves....
From the Padosan-south Indian accent...
And stereotype...

So every time they deliver a dialogue...
In flawless Hindi...
They are actually saying..
And reiterating...
Hey...
But I am not THAT guy...
With the funny accent...
Don't ridicule me...
I am perfect...
I could be you...almost!!!

As for the North Indians...
It begins from the days of the Ramayana..
When the area South of the Vindhyas...
THEY say..
Was inhabited by a simian breed...
They seem to believe that the language of those..
With that sort of an ancestry...
Does not deserve respect!!!!

After all..
Why should the fair descendants of fair Aryans...
Learn the language of the darkee race???
It must be inferior...
So let us give it scant respect....
Seems to be the prevailing view!!!!!

As for me...
I always feel proud...
That we resisted the imposition of Hindi...
On us...

Tamilnadu ....not Thaa-mil-naddu...
Is the only state ....
In all of India...
Where school kids have a choice!!!
They do not compulsorily have to learn Hindi...

And given the slovenly treatment of our tongue...
By those who descend on our cities from up North...
I think it is only right!!!

Long live Thamizh!!!
And Thamizh pride!!!

Didn't expect THAT from me now...
Did ya???
Ah HA!!!